My Health Anxiety

A question I have recently been asking myself a lot. Something my therapist and I touched on in our recent FT therapy session. I spoke about how I have always thought the worst specially when it is health related but since depression forced its way into my world, I feel like I am worse for it. I am constantly thinking what next? And what is going to happen. I remember about 5 or 6 months ago I suddenly fainted, out of the blue. I have only ever fainted once and that was when I was around 13 and I am 28 now. Ever since I fainted I have always thought to myself what if it happens again? In the days that followed I even thought that I needed a brain scan or something. I don’t know. You imagine the worst and one google search leads to another and before you know it, you have already buried yourself. It’s crazy what our minds can do to us. We forget how powerful our brains are. Of course, I had various blood tests and they said it was nothing and nobody could answer why I suddenly fainted and yet still… for me, this wasn’t enough, I felt like I needed to go back and they needed to find something. I realise now that this was health anxiety and although most of us can brush these things off and not put too much thought into them hoping it will go away but I cannot seem to do the same. It’s weird.

With all that is going on with the virus and all – time allows us to end up thinking more and our minds never stop, one thought leads to another and before you know it…. Your thoughts have lead you to the very edge. It’s horrible. Depression never helps matters, you are constantly checking you are okay or if depression is close by. It’s physically and mentally exhausting. I am learning not to jump to the worst conclusion when it comes to my health anxiety. Even when a doctor says there is absolutely nothing wrong, I often find it hard to believe. I have no idea where this stems from…..

If you are like me and you are worried about something in particular whether it’s a mole or a spot, or pain and aches then put your mind at ease by seeing your GP. Often we just need reassurance that the very worst is not always the most likely outcome. It’s hard to train our minds to think this way and this is something I am still learning to do.

Love to you all

Zo x

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